I'm distraught. For the past two days I've been in my room - under the covers – sulking.
Sunday I finished the Long Beach Half Marathon. Notice I didn’t say ‘ran’ the half marathon. I ran 7 miles and then I pretty much jogged when I could and walked when I couldn’t, until I crossed the finish line. No Biggie. I had an off day. 3 hours 15 minutes for 13.1 miles.
I was still proud of myself. I had been running consistently for over a year. I was getting in shape. I felt good. I looked good. Wait – did I say I looked good?
There are two big problems with running races.
1. Races start at 7:00 am which means that you have to get up at 5:00 am so that you can drive to the starting line before the roads close.
2. Photographers snap your picture before, during, and after the race.
Hence, the trauma that drove me to my bed for two full days:
Oh dear God! How am I ever going to catch a man when I look like I’m one tool belt and a flannerl shirt away from rushing off to Home Depot to meet my girlfriend? (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.)
For years now I’ve wondered if it’s possible that I’m not as good looking as I think I am. After all, in my head I look pretty good.
When I started internet dating I forced myself to perform some personal level setting. I contemplated my reflection and accepted what I saw. I was not 29, I did not look 29, and even worse, my waist was certainly not a 29.
I could live with that until the race pictures came trickling in. Evidently I look like a man and run like a girl. Double Whammy - No Fair!
2 comments:
Judy you crack me up....dont be so hard on yourself. You ran a marathon. You are awesome. You are a goddess!
Hey Sweetie,
Have you ever met someone who was very attractive but then when you got to know them they turned out to be this cunning pathetic weasel and a total anathema to society? After you figured out who they really were, did they ever look attractive again? Have you ever met someone who was freaking huge and your first thought was OMG that’s disgusting but then you got to know them and they were confident and the sweetest kindest human earth? Did they ever look huge to you again?
I look at you as a very beautiful person. And if you had a terrible accident I would not notice one scar, I would just see my beautiful Judy. There is one thing I do find unattractive in you. I hope I can be brutally honest with you…. It’s how much you’re worried about how you look. I don’t find that appealing in anyone.
So knock it off!
Congratulations on your run, you are an intelligent, strong, kind, powerful woman. Those are a rare find! Especially in the land of bling and poptart brains!
HUGS
Love Mattie
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