My Brother, Paul Wesley Wagner died this morning of a heart attack. He was 43. It was unexpected. We're all still in shock. We love Paul very much. This afternoon I learned that an essay I wrote about Paul has been published in the August issue of Corona Business Monthly. I wish I had been able to share my essay with Paul but you know how things are - we're busy and we always think we'll have time.
I'll share my essay with you instead. I'll add a link to the magazine later.
"A Sister's Story"
By Judy Wagner
By Judy Wagner
My brother Paul lives in Corona. You’ve seen him, his girlfriend Missy, or one of their many friends in your place of business. They’ve been in line behind you at Target, next to you perusing the DVD’s at Best Buy, in the disabled seats at the front of the Regal movie theatre.
You may be confused when you see Paul and the other residents of Peppermint Ridge around Corona. You’re not quite sure what’s wrong with them, and you want to be politically correct. Don’t look, you think to yourself. You tell your children not to stare.
You’ve learned about developmental disabilities on the news. First it was Down syndrome. You learned about extra chromosomes and prenatal testing. Now all the talk is about autism. You’re finding out real people have autism and they can’t count cards in Vegas like Rainman.
When Paul and I were kids, developmentally disabled people were referred to as retarded and this is still a valid label for some people. Paul is retarded and I still refer to him as such, but Paul will correct me if I say he is handicapped. “I’m disabled, not handicapped,” he says.
Whatever you want to call the residents of Peppermint Ridge, they are first and foremost your neighbors. You sit behind them at the movies on Saturday nights and in front of them at church on Sunday mornings. You are the stylist who cuts their hair, the dentist who fixes their teeth, the nurse who remembers their name when they are re-admitted to the hospital for the third time this year.
This summer you might see Paul and the other residents of Peppermint Ridge walking in your neighborhood as they train for the one mile Love Walk for The Ridge. It’s OK to look at the walkers, and your children can stare, after all, they’re just curious. The residents of Peppermint Ridge won’t mind. My brother Paul is not ashamed of his disability, he is proud to be your neighbor.
If you’d like to walk the one mile Love Walk with the residents on Saturday September 15th, or if you’re interested in becoming a Love Walk sponsor, please visit the Peppermint Ridge website. www.peppermintridge.org
Established in 1959, Peppermint Ridge is a non-profit organization with the mission of providing loving homes and empowering support services for individuals with developmental disabilities. A broad base of financial and volunteer support allows The Ridge to offer a wide variety of residential options and training opportunities for its clients. As a supportive and loving community which nurtures every member and encourages each one to become more self-sufficient and responsible, Peppermint Ridge is more than a place to live - it’s "Home."
